FUCK.....

the Willey ward!

Equality

I'm kinda antsy here at the Willey Ward today. Rumblings are scattering about that a new position is being created. And when I say it's basically like the job I'm doing now... I'm not lying AT ALL. Take EXACTLY what I'm doing... add a slight dash of more responsibility... throw in a healthy pay increase... and that's the 'new' job they are creating. Here's why I'm antsy....

Everyone here KNOWS I'm overqualified for the job I'm currently occupying. In fact, when the VP hired me, he even told me that and also said that he wanted to advance me quickly because of my potential. All good things, I know. BUT... ya see... the Willey Ward plays corporate politics with the best of them. For example, whenever a "good" job is posted... we all pretty much KNOW they already have someone in mind that they are hiring and are only posting the job out of 'protocol'. So..... knowing the Willey Ward way... if I were even in their thoughts for this new job, I would think they would have already approached me with it... seeing as how it's freakin' IDENTICAL to what I'm doing now. But they haven't. And the only reason I know what I know about it is because I'm extremly observant and once I see things... I become Magnum P.I. until I find out what the hell is going on. So basically, I'm worried that they are going to post my job, hire someone to do it, pay them more, and I'm left to remain as a pee-on like I am now.

But nothing has really happened yet... so I guess I shouldn't panic. But I just hate getting screwed over when I deserve things. Sounds a bit braggodocious, I know. But I'd admit if I sucked at what I do. And I wouldn't care if I didn't get something I wasn't qualified for. But this isn't the case here.

Oh well. Such is my life....

Hella Debt!

I need to win the lottery.

That's all for now.

3 Days in a Row!!!!

Can you believe it?!!? I've updated my blog three freakin' days in a row! Holy hell! Do you believe in miracles? = P

So, I have nothing much to talk about today, except for my EXTREME dislike of Li'l Hitler. I just might change my blog from bonjovilover.com to lilhitlerhater.com. I seriously cannot stand her.

If I had the energy to tell you about our Christmas dinner last night, I would. But the stress of Li'l Hitlers annoyance is too strong to lay ALL of her retardedness from the night on you right now. Let's just sum it up by saying she gave the person who's name she had carwash receipts to a gas station. You know, those receipts with the "CAR WASH CODE" on the bottom?! Yeah... that's what she gave as her present. EASY!

But I will divulge the situation that occurred this morning here at the Willey Ward which only solidified Li'l Hitler's place on my "Forbidden Persons" list even more.

Leavitt is Li'l Hitler's boss. He is not in the office today. Well he got a package delivered via UPS this morning. How do we know it was a package for him? Well aside from it saying "JOHN LEAVITT" on the box, it was also sent from a vendor, Jamo, who ONLY Leavitt buys from. Well... for some unbeknownst reason, Li'l Hitler took it upon herself to open the package. Inside was some funky looking danish treat thing from a on-line pastry shop. Piece of Shit, I mean, Li'l Hitler then looks at me and says "What should I do with this?". To wit, I said in a HIGHLY annoyed voice "Put it on Leavitt's desk. It was sent to him." Then, Asshole said, "But he won't be here until Monday." And I responded "It has lasted this long in a UPS box, it will be fine until Monday. They wouldn't have shipped it that way if it was perishable." I have learned to tell when Li'l Hitler ignores, or shall I say, chooses to not hear people- and I could tell she did this then. I then see her pick up her phone, sit with it on her ear for about 13 seconds, and then place her phone back on her desk. Mind you, I sit LITERALLY five feet away from Li'l Hitler and have the GRAND fortune of hearing all of her fabulous phone conversations- work related or not (more often than not, the latter, and those being in her Native Tongue). Well the Freak then turns around and HONESTLY has the balls to say "I just called and they said it's for all of us to share". FIRST of all, WHO THE HELL DID SHE CALL?!?!!? There was no number on the box and she has never dealt with Jamo. Secondly, just plain BULLSHIT! I was sitting RIGHT HERE and heard NO words come out of her lispy German speaking mouth!!

Now, I have NO DOUBT that if Leavitt would have been here, he would have put the danish thing out on the front desk for us all to share. That's what we all do with the treats we receive for the holidays. But that's not the point. He wasn't even here to see the gift, acknowledge that damn thing, and even EAT some of it. Because I guaran-damn-tee it will be long gone come Monday morn.

Li'l Hitler has NO couth. She is a typical piece of shit. I do NOT know how much longer I can sit in such close proximity to her. I should not be held accountable for my actions after having to be submitted to such annoyance day in and day out here at the Willey Ward.

Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.....

Forbidden words....

So... for those of you (yeah, pretending like I have a real audience again) who don't quite understand the complexity of my adversity to normalcy, let me explain to you my Forbidden Words list....

I have a list (I'm talking a PHYSICAL list) of words that I have classified as "forbidden". Once on this list, these words are forever removed from my vocabulary and my friends (at least those who respect me) are then no longer allowed to use these words in my presence. Words can be become forbidden for a variety of reasons. If they evoke unpleasant thoughts... they are forbidden. If they do not flow smoothly off of my tongue, thus making one sound as though they have a speech impediment... they are forbidden. Or, as is the case with my most recent addition, if they make chills go down my spine because of a person overusing the word in an annoying way... they are forbidden.

Let me now introduce you to my newest Forbidded Word:

HUBBY

I have grown to HATE that word. Let me give you a history as to why. Over the years, I might have heard some of my married female friends refer to their spouse as the above word here and there; however, it has been so sparingly, I cannot even give a specific example of EVER hearing them use it. Most of the time though, they will refer to him by name (Jon, Curt, Austin, etc.) or even, heaven forbid, 'my husband'.

Well someone in my close proximity here at the Willey Ward refuses to refer to her spouse by ANYTHING other than the newest forbidden word entry. And, I bet you CANNOT guess who this freak of nature is..... you got it...... FREAKIN' LI'L HITLER!!! Now you might think I am exaggerating when I say she refuses to use anything but that word. But I am not. She has NEVER, not even once, referred to her husband by ANYTHING but that vomitacious word. And what makes it worse, is she finds it necessary to talk about him incessantly. Now, I know her husband's name; it is Tony. And I've met Tony and I have absolutley to negative feelings for him as a person. But the mere fact that he is continually and constantly referred to as the repulsive 5 letter word above makes me feel rather nauseous. I'm not kidding.

BUT WAIT!! It gets worse. Li'l Hitler not only refers to Tony as that vile phrase, she finds it necessary to refer to EVERYONE'S other half as that word.

"Jennifer, was that your <insert forbidden word here>?"
"Janice, your <insert forbidden word here> looks familiar"
"Kim, does your <insert forbidden word here> like German Mush?"

It doesn't matter who she is talking to, what she is talking about, or when she is talking (side note: which is always!), that word is used exclusively when referring to a husband figure. And I'm so sick of it. I'm done with it. Li'l Hitler is SOLELY responsible for that poor word now being officially Forbidden. It's done. Gone. FINITO!!!

If it was at all possible, I believe I'd make a Forbidden Person list. Though it would be short (only 3 people I can think of right now who would occupy it), it would be nice to make the people on that list gone forever.....

Yes M'am!!

Well I was very adamently told I need to update my blog more often. So here I am... updating my blog on this chilly December morn. What I'm going to update it with, I've yet to decide, for my life is not filled the excitement and frolics of those lucky enough to work at TP. I'll do my best though....

Let's see.... it's Christmas time. I'm highly anticipating the upcoming holidays. I wish things could be a bit different, but things happen for a reason. I just know that this Christmas will be unlike any other I've ever had and I'm most excited for that. I just hope you like what I got you Baby Chip... though you already know what it is. Maybe you can pretend like you're suprised just a little bit? But not too much, or I'll know you're faking. Though I'll already know you're faking because I know you know what you're getting. But just a little bit of faking would be nice. Maybe? Only if you want to though. And this is the ONLY time and situation where faking is OK.... ; )

Tomorrow is our work Christmas dinner. We drew names and will exchange gifts. Though it's supposed to be a surprise, I know who has my name. It is none other than Li'l Hitler. If anyone other than my babe has read my blog, they will understand the horrible travesty this is. Of ALL the people to draw my name... why her?!?! WHY?!?! Hell..... I'm probably getting German Mush for Christmas. Fabulous.

Well I think that's all the updating I have to do today. I will make a concerted effort to keep my little guy updated more often. My sincere apologies for my lack of urgency with my blog.

I love you Baby Chip! Forever and for always!! = )