=..(

I'm sad today Mr. Blog. Actually, sad would be an understatement. I just feel so... lost. Like a part of me is missing. And a part of me is missing: my heart. I can't feel it. I really can't. And I don't like that feeling. I'm experiecing one of those times where I don't have an answer, and I don't see an answer, and I don't like that. I'm the type to know a goal, and do what it takes to reach that. But this time, I don't see the path. And I'm trying like hell to find it, I am. I just hope my travel companion for that road wants to find it as badly as I do. But I fear she doesn't. I can feel she doesn't. And that scares me immensely. My heart has been telling me something that my mind has been fighting to realize. You heart can feel when someone is gone... is lost. And my heart has known that. But my mind has been fighting it somethin' fierce. My mind has lost. And because of that, my heart is lost.

Baby Chip, I have no future with anyone but you. If our life together is really coming to an end, then I'll learn to deal with that fact... eventually. I don't know when. I don't know when I'll be OK with seeing me without you, or you without me. Or when I'll be alright with NOT having kids with you. Or when I'll be just fine when see you with other people. Or when I'll ever feel like being with another person. Because right now, I can't see that time EVER happening. And honestly, I don't want it to.

I'm so proud of you and your new job. I hope everything continues to go well with everything.